The Truth About Heaven
by Levi Jennings II
Summary: True LoVe all the way. It's AU. It's my first so don't flame or something. pls. review. I just assure you! Logan Veronica all the way. Love that lasts a lifetime.
1. Chapter 1

_**Title:** The truth about heaven_

_**Rating: **T for mild swearing... I think_

Summary: It's a sort of song fic... from the song with the same title as this... It's LoVe. I love Logan!! How could this not be about the both of them? But then again you never know. depends on the feed backs I guess but I have my own plot here at the back of my head.

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything here... _

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**_The truth about heaven_**

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It was a cold and blurry night Veronica had been wandering in circles watching her bed go round and round till she stops and wonder why she's suddenly dizzy. Reality struck, she was walking around in circles again. Her dad was away on a case to Las Vegas. She and Logan had been dating for weeks. They've known each other since before puberty and yet it was only a few months ago that they started growing up… at least in each other's eyes.

Veronica plopped tiredly into her water bed. And boom, thunder roared and not long was it until the rhythm of the rain out tuned the humming of their old refrigerator. She kept on staring past her window looking at the sudden flashes of lightning.

Flashes.

She reminisces.

They were kids then a few years back… Lily a bit older than them. Logan was a matinee idol back then… Logan had been a drama king. Always starring in the school play. Now that Veronica remembers it, Logan had really been Drama King ever since grade 2. Always there in the stage either chasing co-members or tearing the set apart. But still. It was in theatre. "He's a natural" Mrs. Tretts always said to his father. Duncan and Veronica were more reserved… at least the other people thought so. After school, while Logan was at Theatre classes D.K and V were getting high, sometimes at the Kane's residence sometimes at the Mars'. They were sneaky little things. Getting Sugar Hangovers at school… snatching some candies from the local candy store. It was not long before Logan gave up on his acting to come get high with his best buddies. Veronica smiled fondly at the memories. Lily was a few years older than they were, but she was part of the little scam. It wasn't until they graduated from middle school that Lily personally handed them a scrapbook. It was filled pictures of them. Toothless and sneaky were captioned under a beaming Duncan and Veronica with chocolate smothered all over their chins their arms around each other's shoulder. It was filled mostly of stolen shots. They always used to eat their sweets under Jake Kane's bed.

She sighs then stands up again, walking around her room aimlessly.

"Come on Logan. What's taking you so damn long?! Ugh" She screams at her pillow.

She dialed his cell.

Out of Coverage area.

She dialed on and on.

"Hello…"

Veronica's face was lit up with a hopeful smile

"You've reached Logan Echolls. Either I left my cell phone at home or I'm somewhere without signal… just leave me a message, I'll get back to you. Oh, and by the way, "I love yah Ronnie!!!! Do you love me to? I can't hear ya!!" He chuckles then it dies down.

"You know I'm here for you. Just come to me when you need me!" then in the background Veronica hears her own voice.

" Logan?! Talk about tacky! Turn it off!" Then the Veronica on the other line squeals then there was the beeping sound.

It was the voicemail.

Damn.

She hurls the cell phone on the bed. Then starts biting her nails.

Possibilities were building up in her head, playing like a VCR.

_What if he left me?_

_What if he wanted to ditch me?_

_What if something bad happened?_ Oh God I can't forgive myself.

Even before such horrible thoughts multiply like a virus in her head, the phone rings.

Veronica sighs relieved she dove onto her bed to get her cellphone and straightened up to answer it.

" Logan! Oh my God! You had me worried there? Aren't you coming? It's half past ten already." She manages to blurt it all out in just one breath.

The line was silent.

"Ms. Mars, this is Sheriff Lamb…"

Veronica's eyes bulge as she immediately shot up from the bed.

She laughs hysterically after a second.

"Oh ha ha Logan! Really where are you? I've been worried sick." She says again.

Silence again.

" Logan? Logan! Damnitt"

"Veronica, it's Lamb… we- - "

Muffled voices.

The tension rises.

A cell phone crashes on the ground.

Veronica was standing there one moment with her delicate hands almost covering her mouth then the next thing, her knees buckled and gave away as she stumbled to the hard floor of her room.

Out of reflex, Logan burst through the window to catch Veronica as she fell. But there was no impact on the glass, no shards flying, no veronica to hold as she wept, just the cold wind he embraced to himself. Like everything suddenly became ghosts.

"V," He tried

But Veronica couldn't hear.

She just kept sobbing his name like he just dumped her for Madison Sinclair…

"Hey, V, it's me, I made it on time. Look at me." He reached out to tilt Veronica's face towards his but there was nothing. Like everything was a hologram.

He kept shaking his head, looking at his own hands like it was a ghost. He backed away from Veronica's lifeless sobbing form on the ground. He was so far now that he didn't notice he was halfway through the wall and almost fell the two stories down. It was there at the back of his head. He refuses to believe it. He sits down Veronica's bed then he suddenly pictures them making out about a few weeks back. He breaks down silently behind Veronica. They were mourning for each other.

"No!" Veronica's head jerks up, her hair was wild and so were her eyes. Desperation.

She fumbles for her cell phone. Logan peeking curiously behind but then he shakes his head in an exasperated manner like a kid not getting division. Veronica was checking the call register list but then her face grows disappointed when she sees that it wasn't really Logan who called and gave her a prank call. She goes to the gallery of her cell phone, looking at the pictures of her and Logan. One was of them kissing. Logan with his eyes closed while Veronica was looking at the camera like she just earned bragging rights . Then this time it was another picture Logan was the one holding the camera, taking a stolen picture while they make out. Veronica had her eyes closed and hands around Logan's neck. They were multi shots and when she scrolled down, Logan was coming closer to her lips in the picture. Then it was backup. She fumbled again to go back to the pictures, trailing fingers on Logan's face. She was so broken that Logan couldn't look at her anymore. It hurts so much to cause her this much pain. Logan sobs with his eyes closed. Then when he opens his eyes, Veronica was resting her head on where his tangible legs should have been. It awed him so much. She was beautiful. He lost her. Logan didn't move over but instead ran his hands through Veronica's hair. Imagining he could feel her silky strands slide underneath his longing touch. Veronica fell asleep murmuring Logan's name. How he had left her.

" Logan, where did you go?" She mumbled while she dreamt of him. Both of them going on a roadtrip, their silhouettes inside the yellow Xterra vanished into the sunset.

"I'm right here, V. I always were." He answered as tears fell helplessly down his face.

The sun rose and set behind Veronica's window and yet she refused to move a single inch from her position. Logan saw her waking at times then watch her as she struggles with her hunger just to stay like that with her eyes closed. Logan had enough of it.

"Veronica," he tried softly.

He tried even though he knew it was worthless. But who knew? What they had was a strong bond. Something real. Something stronger than death. Could have been True LoVe.

"But then I had to die." Logan thought

"Logan, I feel you here... are you? I miss you already... why don't you talk to me?" Veronica whispers in her half asleep state.

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**_DOnt worry about Logan. He's a big boy... he'll find a way. never loose hope of him and veronica not ending up together for LoVe will always find a way!_**

I had to cut it for now. It's a sort of songfic with about 3-5 chapters.

I hope you like.

It's my first LoVe. and Veronica Mars fic.

Please review after you read. Constructive criticism is accepted. no flames please.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Title:** The truth about heaven_

_**Rating: **T for mild swearing... I think_

Summary: It's a sort of song fic... from the song with the same title as this... It's LoVe. I love Logan!! How could this not be about the both of them? But then again you never know. depends on the feed backs I guess but I have my own plot here at the back of my head.

_**Disclaimer:** Don't own anything here... _

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**_The truth about heaven_**

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Weeks of starvation, weeks of depression, weeks of endless torture. 

It was hell for Veronica.

And so was for Logan.

Somewhere in between those weeks, Logan slipped away, just like that.

"I'm right here, V. I always were."

Veronica rested her head on his lap. Veronica awake from her sleep and looked up, half hopeful, half screaming for joy.

" Logan!" She stood up and hugged him, causing him to lie flat on his back on the mattress. Logan grinned that mysterious grin of his… that particular twisting of the lips, and those straight forward eyes… it was too hard to take. Veronica had this urge to kiss and well… cuddle…

"Woah, woah, waoh. Down girl… ohh easy there!" Logan joked.

" Logan! I can't believe it! It was just a frickin dream…" Veronica exclaimed passionately that Logan had to wince.

"Boy, you don't know what you're worth." She mumbled sexily into his ear. Trailing light kisses down to his collarbones.

"And I'd like to know… about hmm… now." Logan murmured distractedly as he pushed both the strap of Veronica's Hollister camisole to the sides.

Veronica didn't respond for a while… she just kissed and kissed, anywhere near his face… just not his mouth. It was bothering for Logan. The torture was… torturous… or something.

"Woman, might I lay it out for you once and for all?" Logan announced seriously while she held Veronica away from him by the shoulders. "hmmm?" Veronica asked suggestively.

"see this?" Logan pouted with his lip

"This is the target… not this nor that… You're killing me here… stick to focus woman."

Veronica shrugged out of his grip and crept back up again to Logan's face.

"That's the whole point my dear." She said in her I-know-you-want-me voice

Logan just stared at the ceiling.

"Okaay… I don't know what's worse, you having a point or you wanting to torture me." Logan said. A chill went up Veronica's spine and she shuddered. Something about his tone was creepy, thick with underlying message but she chose to ignore it.

"Mhhhhmmmm…" Logan moaned.

To veronica, it was like he was so helpless. Not the stop teasing me helpless but the you're torturing me please stop moan. So veronica pulled away she was so surprised to find Logan crying just because of this teasing. It broke her heart.

" Logan…" She whispered gently.

She hugged him tight, he stayed limp in her arms.

He was sobbing into her shoulder now.

"What's wrong?" She asked in that same gentle tone.

He still sobbed, harder.

She pulled away, she tilted his chin to face hers.

"tell me," she pleaded silently.

Eye to eye.

"You're killing me."

With that Veronica hugged him with all her might not wanting to ever let go.

"Oh, Logan!" She sobbed as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

"You know I don't mean to."

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_I had to cut it for now. It's a sort of songfic with about 3-5 chapters._

_I hope you like._

_It's my first LoVe. and Veronica Mars fic._

_Please review after you read. Constructive criticism is accepted. no flames please._

_By the way, Thanks to all who reviewed it meant a lot to me! For real. The next chapter is dedicated to you guys._

_And I sort of made Lily a bit older than them just haven't decided the age gap yet._

_L.J_


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: please note that Chapter 2 was just her dream, the whole of it. Just one of the dreams she usually has of Logan when he died because she just stays at home and mopes. So she sleeps, sometimes she just stares blankly and please also note that it had only been a few days since Logan died. The "weeks" thing in the 2nd Chapter was part of her dream.

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**_ Logan_**

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Logan didn't go back to see Veronica since his first day of being dead.

He hovered around his last place, watching the sheriffs take pictures of it. He himself didn't know how he died, exactly, or how he and his X-terra ended up going over the ditch. A gunshot was all he heard and that slicing feeling piercing through his chest, then he ended up walking around like he was invisible…

He worried at first if he wasn't a_ 09'er_ anymore.

He had been walking around town then and ended up in the hospital wanting to check himself in incase he was just ill. Just as he was crossing the gap between him and the front desk, several EMT's started running a stretcher towards the emergency room. To his surprise, no one paid no mind to him who was standing directly in front of them. He gasped out loud when he felt the whole long stretcher passing through him; it wasn't because of the pain but because of the lack of it. And what made him gasp more was the fact that the guy lying helplessly, not to mention motionlessly, looked awfully a lot like him.

He followed them suit with his mouth hanging unattractively open and his eyes all wide and shocked. It was disgusting when he saw the whole operation and made a mental note to not be a doctor when he grows up.

The truth hasn't quite sunk in yet.

When he heard the dull flat line reverberating through his skull, he felt this unearthly tremor which made him feel like retching. It was like sitting through someone scraping the plate with knives or someone writing noisily on the black board, it made him shiver then after that few seconds that felt like hours, it stopped and left him feeling unattached, somehow lonely, alone, like the first time his car got towed away.

A single tear fell precariously down his cheek without him noticing.

Veronica was a total wreck. She barely moved and barely ate. Logan couldn't stand watching her like this and he really couldn't stand not having anything to do about it.

_ Being dead sucked…_

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**_Veronica_**

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The only time that Veronica eats is when Wallace is there. He spoon feeds her with oatmeal three times a day. But sometimes Veronica would pretend she's asleep on the morning when Wallace would visit just to avoid that sympathetic look. She felt as though she was this old train wreck left to rot in the middle of a junkyard which she technically is but still hasn't come around to accepting it yet.

She played old songs on and on while she laid down face first on her bed, one of the songs she usually played was "How can you mend a broken heart" by Al Green then a whole album by the Platters… moping was something temporary while her mind still hasn't accepted the sad truth. It was a bad case of Deja vu. The moment the song "twilight time" rang through her ears, she'd get an instant image of Logan and her like a hollogram, dancing slowly around her room, it was of the dance a few weeks ago... And by the time she realized how stupid she'd acted during the previous times (back when they were mortal enemies) she couldn't stop her eyes from crying.

**_(A/N: I didn't know what they called the dance but it was retro something when meg found out about her secret admirer... just go along with the story, this is slightly AU)_**

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She lay awake one night, probably around the 3rd day, the pills she usually took hadn't taken effect yet. It was an eerie night, everything was still and calm which angered her.

"_**How could the weather be so perfect when someone I love just died? How could it be like that when, he just left me?"**_

She fell asleep reluctantly.

_I awoke with a jolt. Everything in the room was white, I thought I was dead which I was secretly wishing all along but found out I was in a hospital. I removed the oxygen mask from my mouth and pulled the dextrose from my wrist. I noticed an unfamiliar head resting to my left and was holding my hand. I tried to peek at the said man's face but already thought of it as Duncan… well I assumed it was him. He snored once, twice until I got impatient and sat up. He stirred and looked around and his gaze settled on me. I pretended to sleep but I saw his face through half closed lids, it wasn't Duncan. It was Lamb. As in Sheriff Don Lamb… Laamb.. As in the guy who ignored me when I was raped._

_He was such an asshole and I'm betting he still is…_

_I reluctantly woke up because I can't stand his suspicious stare at me like he knew I was awake. I cleared my throat subtly just to let him know he's still holding my hand, and he needs to let go like, now. But he didn't. _

_Trust Lamb to be so thick. _

_I stirred and pretended to be blinded by the brightness of the lights._

"_Veronica!" It was the first thing he said. His face wasn't quite as stern as before he looked relieved to see me… conscious._

"_Lamb?" I asked. Outraged. Then he let go of my hand like it was on fire._

"_Oh, uhh" He was actually stuttering. I found it amusing. First smile I cracked since…since…you know… the day that Logan officially left my life……leaving with absolutely no hope of his return. I frowned as I remembered. Crossing my arms and staring at the window. Lamb was silent, he just couldn't get a clue._

"_Why are you here?" I asked colder than I planned. _

"_I umm I was supposed to watch over you since your father wasn't here…since he was the sheriff once too…" _

"_The truth" I commanded, slightly taken back_

"_Well, I uhh found you in your house passed out, you were brought in the hospital because of overdose, and you almost got killed." He said it as if he was making a report. Now that I thought about it, he really is…_

"_Why did you swing by the house then?" I asked with my eyes narrowed at him_

"_I just wanted to see how you were doing and well, I was worried…believe it or not." He whispered the last part but I just couldn't find myself to accept this statement as true._

"_Lamb, how many times do I have to ask for the truth?" I asked, exasperated already. _

"_I honestly did it out of concern! God," _

"_What, are you trying to pay back for the time that you ignored a sixteen year old girl who just reported she was raped?"_

"_No, don't answer that. Just get me out of here." I suddenly had the urge to avoid his stare, he looked at me like I was something he stepped on and got stuck on his shoe. Like I was so pathetic._

"_Veronica, you're still unwell, you aren't fit enough to get discharged" He said all soothingly. Lamb and soothingly don't go together._

"_Fine, but shouldn't you call a nurse or something to tell them I'm awake?" _

_He rushed out of the room and hurried to God knows where._

_And while he's away, I got up, got his jacket- which he left in the room- and followed him out of the suit- only I went the other way. It wasn't only moments later that I found myself out of the damned hospital and in the afternoon breeze of Neptune, California. A more damned place to live in, well, if you ask me that is. _

_I got to my Le Baron and drove around the city. It wasn't until later when I found myself near a toll gate. I didn't mind where I was going. _

_I saw everything else blur past me like I was winning their race. My musings were cut short when I noticed the traffic ahead of me. _

_Sigh._

_Story of my life._

_Stop go Stop go._

_Stupid traffic lights._

_I could just see beyond that building, that perfect sunset… _

_I stared ahead._

_The traffic lights flashed dull red, giving way to the pedestrians. _

_I shook my head, it was a cruel vision. It couldn't have been. When the boy crossed my car, I beeped loud and turned on the head lights. It was enough for him to look up, blinded by the head lights, it might just be a flash but I knew those brown eyes when I saw them. _

_I disobeyed the traffic light and parked onto the nearest place I could see then rushed to follow Logan._

_He hadn't gotten far yet, he was walking in and out of the throngs of people. No, scratch that, he was limping through the crowd he needed these two metals to support him. I wasted no time and called out his name. He looked up and whipped his head around until his eyes landed on mine. He was unshaven, his eyes were dull but still the Logan I know._

_Tears rolled down my cheek as I saw him recognize me. His eyes widened and he swiftly turned his back to me, then he was limping ahead, faster now, like he was running away._

_Logan!_

_Logan!_

_I called after him as I ran._

_But he never looked back._

_I caught up with him and held him by the shoulder, he didn't acknowledge me so I ran in front of him and blocked his way. _

_I wasted no time in hugging him, tears of joy swiftly rolling down my cheeks but he never returned it._

"_Logan, we all thought you were dead… why didn't you tell me?" I sort of breathed out._

_But he was unresponsive._

"_Logan, what's wrong?" I asked gingerly at his blank face he moved aside and walked past me._

"_Logan, come on." I pleaded slightly._

_He was moving fast but he was already bending over panting with his hand on his chest, he was in pain._

_So I rushed towards him._

"_Don't touch me" I heard the acid dripping from his voice. So I let go of him. A thought already forming in my head._

_He looked up, still wincing from the pain. He must've seen my face. _

"_That's why I didn't want anyone to see me, especially you. I didn't want you to see me like this" He said lamely._

"_Is- Is your…"_

"_My heart was damaged, my other lung was removed. My left leg was paralyzed." His eyes were hard, his face straight. I knew this was no joke._

"_Logan, I would have understood." He was rushing away from me again. He stood on the sidewalk, fidgeting for a cigarette with his hands shaking. _

"_You're smoking now?" I asked. It was meant to be a simple question._

"_Veronica, just leave." He spelled out the words for me, but I didn't believe it. Never will._

"_I know you ,Logan, that's not true" Just then a red bus came to a halt just past us then Logan rushed to the Bus stop, anxious to get away from me. Like I was some nightmare._

"_Logan, you and I both know what you're saying is not true!" But I was ignored. The people around us stopped to stare. _

"_Logan!" This seemed to have gotten his attention as he yelled back an outraged "What?!" At me. _

_I cried for his cruelty, how he proceeded to ignore my feelings._

"_Tell me it's not true"_

"_It Is" He spat out calmly. His eyes boring into mine._

"_Just come home with me," I pleaded… begged… whatever, just as long as he stayed with me._

_He was silent. But when I finished, he just said: "Let me spell it out for you, I don't want to come home with you. Leave. Me. Alone" with that, he got up the bus._

_I put my hands on my face as I denied it profusely. _

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_Thank you for reading! Tell me what you think and please review!!!!_

_And by the way does anybody not know any good VeronicaLamb? or CassidyVeronica?_

_Just asking. _

_Thank you very much to my beta reader, LoVer159!_

luv lotts!

L.J


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